I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I just want nice things and good sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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