I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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