I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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