if i died would you start the facebook group?
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Randomize
