Why are handjobs necessary in class?
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize