piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize