She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Actions speak louder than pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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