: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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