My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
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