His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
i just made my gag reflex go away.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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