she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
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i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
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Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
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