remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize
