Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
