he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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