woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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