Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
home. puking in laundry basket.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...