This girl wants me to lick her pits
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me