Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What drink are we having for lunch?
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize