the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
