at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
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