Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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