And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize