I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
