You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
