My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
