I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
now i know why i became what i already was.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Randomize
