I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out