Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Banned from zoo.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?