He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for