She is in my trunk
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
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He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
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I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head