Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.