she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize