I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
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