I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
now i know why i became what i already was.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Randomize
