i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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