Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
