We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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