I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
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You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
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Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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