Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.