I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
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i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
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I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...