I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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