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• (586): View more from Michigan

  Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.

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• (631): View more from New York

  My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..

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• (405): View more from Oklahoma

  just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv

  (1-405): View more from Oklahoma

  we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina

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• 

  These 25 Rude People Ruined Movies for Everyone Else

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (609): View more from New Jersey

  i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  like hot dogs and buns.

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• (334): View more from Alabama

  Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.

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• (831): View more from California

  i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila

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• (636): View more from Missouri

  PS: I just woke up from my shower

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• (662): View more from Mississippi

  I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.

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  23 Cringeworthy Responses to “I Love You”

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (925): View more from California

  I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.

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• (407): View more from Florida

  This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.

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• (512): View more from Texas

  I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.

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• (240): View more from Maryland

  I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.

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• (864): View more from South Carolina

  Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.

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• (815): View more from Illinois

  Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.

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