I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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