i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize