You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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