i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
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