guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
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