I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
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Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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