Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
tell me about the eggs
Randomize