At least make sure they are 18
Why
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
