dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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