Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize