dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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