This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
i need some magic done to my vagina
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize