My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
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