i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
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Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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