Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Randomize
