Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
