im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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